Mirrors

"Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me now

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now 
I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me" Mirrors by Justin Timberlake

***Flashback***

COLLEGE YEARS

"Black or blue?" I asked Rocky, holding both dresses in front of me. They were both size 6! I hadn't eaten carbs in 2 weeks, but it was worth slipping into the dresses. I had never slipped into anything besides basketball shorts and oversized shirts. I was thrilled both dresses fit. Although I loved my basketball shorts, it wasn't appropriate for a girl's 21st birthday. Especially for what I had planned...

Rocky scowled and looked over at me. "They look the same to me. Why didn't you get something with some color?"

That decided it. I put the black dress away. I asked Rocky to help me pick out the dress 3 weeks ago. She came, but complained about Bilal the whole time. I listened emphatically while trying to find the perfect dress to seduce Trevor in...

I took a deep breath and went into the bathroom to change. I put on the dress, admiring it as it showed off my new body. I actually had a waistline! It made my ass more noticeable, but thanks to J-Lo and Kim Kardashian, that was a good thing now.

 Besides, I knew Trevor was a breast guy. Mine weren't as big as they were 60 pounds ago, but they were full and sat up higher on my chest (thanks to my first Victoria's Secret Bra!), so it was a fair trade-off. The neckline of the blue dress was lower than the black, so that confirmed my choice.

I rubbed Jessica Simpson's body shimmer, I bought it with the money my dad sent me, over my exposed skin. I had to hunt on the Internet to find it, but I did! Trevor had the image of Jessica Simpson posing seductively with a cupcake to promote the edible beauty products as his screen saver our first year of college. I would never be her size in the pictures. I scoffed at the tagline "Sexy Girls have dessert." Yeah, if they threw it up, but at least I could smell like her, or at least her product.

I sprayed on the sugary sweet, vanilla scented body mist before stepping out of the bathroom. Rocky already did my makeup for me and my hair was recently washed and straightened. I put on some bejeweled flip flops and was officially ready for my birthday celebration. I turned 21 a week ago, but I was celebrating it on Trevor's actual 21st birthday.

Rocky and I made our way to the sports bar that the party was at. I planned for us to show up, fashionably late, and we were shown to the back party room. When I saw Trevor sitting between J-Mike and Bilal, I regretted my decision.

Trevor looked up from whatever they were laughing at, and gave me a smile that made my heart thump with anticipation. I smiled back at him and made my way over.

"Happy Birthday!" I greeted him as he stood up and pulled me into a hug. He smelled and looked so good. The blue of his Hollister t-shirt brought out the light shade of his eyes. He smelled like Irish Spring Soap and laundry detergent. Just fresh and clean like a summer day; it was intoxicating to me.

"Thank you! It's about time y'all showed up. We were about to get started without you!" Trevor smiled down at me. It warmed me all over. He could read me the classified ads, and he would still have the same effect on me.

"That would be completely fucked up considering I've been waiting to have my first legal drink with you!" I giggled, happily my arm still wrapped around him. I wasn't a huggy person until I met Trevor. To my dismay, I learned he was a generally affectionate person to everyone. It was something I adopted so I would have an excuse to touch him. I made sure that I pressed my body against him, hoping to get a reaction...

"Well, c'mon on!"

The disappointment I felt when he pulled away was replaced with giddiness when he made J-Mike move down one so I could sit next to him.

After greeting everyone at the table, we looked over the drink menu. My first legal drink was a lemon drop shot. I clinked my shot glass with Trevor, then he taught me to tap it on the table before drinking it down. We spent the evening trying different drinks, toasting each other, and snacking on bar foods.

I stopped eating and drinking before everyone else so I could focus on Trevor. My plan was to give him a ton of attention and finally make a move. Then, if it went horribly wrong, I could blame it on the alcohol.

So far, it was working brilliantly. We were talking and laughing like normal, but I casually placed my hand on his thigh. He didn't even flinch and I grinned triumphantly.

"Why'd you stop drinking? Already done?" Trevor asked.

"Probably... I don't wanna be a mean drunk." I shrugged, tracing his thigh with my finger.

Trevor laughed and grabbed my hand. "You don't get mean. You get talkative... and loud."

"That's me tipsy, not drunk. I've never been really drunk before. I could turn into one of those girls that starts going off for no reason." I smiled.

"Sounds familiar." Bilal stated as Rocky glared at him.

Trevor shook his head and turned to me. "No way, you don't have a mean bone in your body."

"Do too!" I disagreed.

"No... Sarcastic, yes. I'm guessing every single one of the 500 bones in your body are smart-ass bones-"

"206!" I corrected him.

"Huh?"

"There are only 206 bones in the body."

"Really? It feels like more than that." Trevor said, thoughtfully.

"We have more when we're born, but they fuse together." I explained.

"See? Smartass, but not mean. You're the sweetest person I know." Trevor commented.

"Shut up." I blushed, looking away.

"I'm serious, you are." Trevor said, squeezing my hand and leaning closer to me, "You even smell sweet; like cookies or cupcakes."

My face was burning up when he inhaled deeply and grinned at me. His blue eyes sparkled with excitement. I didn't recall them being so dark. The lights and alcohol must be playing tricks on me. I then focused on his lips. All I had to do was lean forward and our lips would meet...

"Happy Birthday to you!-" We both looked up towards the door. Brooke and one of her friends I didn't recognize came in carrying a sheet cake, singing happy birthday. Trevor was on and off with Brooke, last time I heard, they were off. He always complained how annoying she was. He was smiling widely at her, so she must be doing something right. I would bet my life it was her long, blond hair and boobs that were always on display. Right now, her boobs were pushed out in Trevor's face in a corset as she place the cake in front of Trevor. He quickly dropped my hand.

I looked away from them and looked at the cake. It read "Happy Birthday Trevor" and had 21 candles lit on it.

Rocky made sure to add my name in the birthday song and I gave her a small, grateful smile. Trevor finally took his eyes off Brooke to scoot the cake between us. He made me blow out the candles with him when the song was over.

"I thought you weren't coming." Trevor exclaimed as he hugged her.

"I'm a birthday surprise!" She giggled.

It took all of my concentration to hold it together as I cut the cake, especially when Brooke asked Trevor what he wished for. He whispered something in her ear that made her smile flirtatiously and said, "Maybe."

Everyone made plans to go to a bar after the restaurant. After watching Trevor and Brooke flirt, I just wanted the night to be over. I followed Rocky to her car, refusing to watch as Trevor walked with Brooke to her car.

I was so relieved when Rocky drove to a convenience store instead. We bought wine coolers, candy and ice cream to go with the cake we were taking back to the dorms. I was too depressed to even get excited when the clerk asked for my ID.

"They're more like boys than men!" Rocky declared, out of nowhere. We were sprawled out on the floor, working through our feast. I refused to acknowledge the amount of calories I was consuming.

"What do you mean?" I said, after washing down my gummy bears with the fruity alcohol.

"College guys. You'd think they would be more mature, but there not. None of them are ready to get serious or settle down, so there's no point in dating them." Rocky explained.

I snorted. "I'll take your word for it." I said, disappointingly.

"I'm serious Lily. How many people can say they met their spouse in college? And It actually worked out? Focus on keeping friends. Friendships last, not relationships." Rocky preached.

I nodded.

I didn't ask about her and Bilal. Her comments and their fights recently said everything. What advice or comfort could I give her?  I couldn't even tell Trevor how I truly felt about him. How could I comfort her when my own heart was breaking?

-----------------

Present

"We both know what he wants for his birthday... Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake! He wanna put his name on it!" Sammy sang, Rihanna style, as I played with Justine on the floor. I paused from rubbing Justine's belly to give her a look.

 I named the blue heeler Trevor got me Justine, in honor of the best night of my life. Trevor made fun of me when I proclaimed the reason that I was crying was because it was the best night ever. The note attached to Justine read:

Let's be roommates.

I laughed through my tears and Justine and I have been inseparable when I was not at work. She's super sweet and hyperactive. Trevor got her from a rescue shelter. No one was sure what happened to her, but it made me love her even more. Trevor automatically fell in love with her too. If I didn't want her, he was going to take her.

That wasn't an issue. I adored her. I didn't even know I wanted a dog until Trevor got her for me. It was the perfect gift. Now I had to find the perfect gift for Trevor, and I was stumped. Hence why I was asking Sammy for her advice. She was no help.

Sammy laughed at me. "He bought you a dog Lily. A living, breathing thing; a long term commitment. It's what couples do before having babies. Like a practice family. Therefore, he wants to practice making a family with you. Meaning sex. Birthday sex."

"You're so stupid. That's for couples that are together!" I laughed at her.

"If you think about it, y'all have been in a relationship. You just cheated on each other." Sammy stated.

"Thank you Sammy. I can always come to you for things not to do." I grinned.

"Whatever. Why don't we go shopping since you're not gonna give Trevor any of your cake?"

I left Justine at home. I already bought dog gates that kept her in the den with her toys, food and water.

Sammy and I walked around the mall, doing Christmas shopping as well as looking for Trevor's birthday gift.  It couldn't be something he asked for or that anyone would give him. It had to be unique and amazing to match what he gave me. I couldn't find anything remotely close.

By Tuesday, I gave up. I bought him something he needed and hoped by the time Christmas rolled around I would have thought of the perfect gift.

On Tuesday, I made plans with Megan to drop by EJ's drum lesson. It was fun catching up with EJ and Corey. I was worried it was going to be weird with Corey. The only time I saw him was with Sammy. Even though Sammy and I were cool, I didn't know how Corey would act without her. I wouldn't want to hang with the person that called someone I liked a whore, but Corey was his normal, laid back self.

"You did not name your dog after Justin Timberlake." Corey teased me, when I showed EJ pictures of Justine.

"Yes I did. That's why my dog is the best."

"Justin Timberlake is so overrated. His voice is really high." Corey commented.

"One, no he's not.  And 2, yeah, so what? Look at Bruno Mars, Michael Jackson-"

"Adam Levine!" Megan chimed in from the kitchen.

"Oh right. Almost every good band." I concluded.

"What bands?" He asked.

"Queen, Foreigner, Radiohead, Incubus..." I listed.

"Alright... Justin Timberlake is still overrated." Corey said.

"See him live, then come talk to me." I finished.

Trevor's birthday was on the Wednesday following mine. He told everyone he didn't want to do anything because of the party the upcoming weekend, but I wasn't going to let his day past without doing something.

I made him a collage featuring pictures I had of him from his childhood too. I got in contact with his cousin Lisa and she sent them to me, including a hilarious picture of him in cowboy boots, cowboy hat, Toy Story underwear and a Toy Story blanket wrapped like a cape. He looked about 5 in the picture. Naturally, I made that picture the biggest and in the middle. I captioned it:

Happy Birthday to the best friend a girl can have! #ManyMore #HappyB-day #NakedWoody #YouGotAFriendInMe

Cam was taking Trevor out for a dinner with some co-workers while I rushed to his apartment with Justine. After setting her up in the living room, I got to work setting up an ice cream bar. We were having a cake Saturday, so I figured ice cream sundaes would be a great alternative. Justine met him at the door while I pulled the root beer out the freezer.

"Hey Justine! What are you doing here girl?" I heard Trevor cooed to Justine. It put a smile on my face.

"Happy Birthday!!!" I greeted him when he finally made his way into the kitchen.

"Hey, what's all this?" He asked me, smiling.

"Birthday sundaes!" I informed him. "Want a root beer float?" I asked him.

"Absolutely." He nodded, kicking off his shoes.

I made him a root beer float and then got started on his sundae. He wanted bananas, chocolate, caramel, marshmallow cream, cool whip, sprinkles and 7 cherries. He watched me as I put it up in a big bowl and topped it with a candle. I then lit it.

"Happy birthday to you..." I sang to him, Marilyn Monroe style. It was off key and too breathy, but when Trevor laughed it was all worth it. I sat the sundae in front of him and he smiled at me before he blew out the candle.

We shared the massive sundae while watching Justine run around the living room.

"So I got you a present, but it's super lame." I told Trevor.

"Let me have it." Trevor said.

"It's in the bedroom." I told him. "Not like that!" I laughed, when he wiggled his eyebrows. I stood up and he followed me to the bedroom.

He looked around the room while I closed the door.

He turned back to me. "What is it?"

"Ta-da!" I exclaimed, moving out the way to reveal the full size mirror on the back of the door.

"I was trying to find something you needed, but didn't know you needed, like you did with Justine. While you need this, I'm sure you don't want it. Your Christmas present will be sooo much better." I confessed.

"No, I like it. Thank you." He said, stepping to give me a hug.

"Don't lie." I laughed at him, pushing him away.

"I'm not. Turn around." He said, still holding me. I did and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled at our reflection in the mirror.

"See? This is exactly what I wished for." He said against my ear. He never took his eyes off mine as he watched me through the mirror.

I pulled away from him, ignoring how my body ignited at his words and his gaze. I grinned at him.

"I got you something to go with it."

I walked over and grabbed a bag out of his closet.

I held up a cowboy hat and boots. He laughed.

"Just in case you wanna recapture old times." I laughed.

"I was 7!" Trevor said, between laughs.

"Why were you naked though?" I countered.

His response was to tackle me on the bed. I tried to get back up, but he tickled me

"Stop it Woody!!!" I shrieked, laughing.

"Reach for the sky partner!" Trevor quoted Woody, in a southern drawl.

"Ok, Ok, I'm sorry." I laughed, breathlessly as I put my hands up on the bed.

He stopped as his eyes explored my body, stretched out on his bed. There was no ignoring the need in his eyes. It made me hold my breath, not knowing what would be worse: If he touched me or if he didn't.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us!" Trevor broke the tension, grinning as he began to tickle me. I began laughing again and tried to squirm away from him.

I heard Justine's collar jingle as she pushed through the door.

"C'mon girl! Sic 'Em!!!" I laughed. Justine just looked at us. Trevor laughed and laid beside me.

"You're not much of a guard dog, huh girl?" I smiled, rolling over to pet her.

Trevor rolled over too to spoon me. "She knows you have nothing to fear from me."

I relaxed in his arms, the smile fading from my lips.

How I wished that was true...