The Walker

The Walker- Fitz and the Tantrums

I arrived at work Wednesday, exhausted. I hurried to the nurses station to find Jordan. She's already set up, taking a call. I wrote on a sticky note "LUNCH?"

She nodded and held up a finger on one hand, and two fingers on the other, signaling 12pm. I nodded.

I went to the training center, and worked through my first appointment of the day. Not going to lie, I was half-assing it, but thankfully she didn't notice. My patient had surgery on her shoulder, and felt like she knew more than me cause she could run searches on Google. Normally, I would try to re-educate her, but I wasn't in the mood. Lack of sleep took the fight right out of me.

Finally, lunch time rolled around. I hurried to meet Jordan. We just went to the Starbucks down the street. Over a caramel macchiato frappuccino and a chicken Caesar salad for me and an Iced Blackberry Mojito Tea Lemonade and a chicken salad b.l.t sandwich for Jordan, I explained to her my moral dilemma.

"Remember Forrest?" She made a confused face, so I clarified. "Coach Sullivan?" When that didn't help, I sighed.

"Light skinned, green eyes, bald head. I told you he was engaged. Check out the buffet, without cheating on the diet?!?!"

"Ohhh!!! Yeah! Coach Cutie! What about him?" Jordan asked, smiling at the memory.

I handed her my phone. It was opened up to the texts we sent back and forth to each other Tuesday night. It started off innocent enough. I gave him my phone number only after he explained he wanted to send me proof of his former fat kid days. I laughed when he sent me a picture of him in middle school. Chubby, but still cute. He explained that's why he loved football so much. It gave him an identity besides being the fat kid at school.

We then commiserated about our lack of self-control around food and fat kid activities. We continued to text until 12am. I would have to read the texts to remember what all we texted about. Just random stuff like favorite TV shows we liked watching growing up. And weekend plans. He told me his friend was hosting a mud run this weekend. After he explained to me what it was, he invited me to sign up. I told him to email me the information. He said he would need to register me but would stop by my job today to drop one off for me. After that, we said goodnight.

 "Do you think I crossed a line?" I asked Jordan as she read through them. I asked her cause I already know what Rocky, Trevor and Sammy would say. YES, yes and no. Respectively.

"You're not in a relationship, so technically, no. But It's a little strange that he's reaching out to you." Jordan answered.

"So you don't think we should be friends?" I asked.

"I can't decide that for you. I think it's ridiculous to say you can't make new friends of the opposite sex because you're engaged. But, it's all about the intent. If a new friend is both of your intention, then what's the problem?"

"That is the problem. I can't read guys very well. Especially not through text."

"Well I can. I'll go with you on the mud run."

"Awesome!" I said, excitedly.

"So what was up with you and Ethan? You seemed super cozy at the housewarming." Jordan asked.

"Yeah, cause we decided to be friends." I told her.

"Aww, are you sure? He gets along well with your family and friends."

I snorted. "Yeah, now that we're friends he does."

 I finally explained the whole, long, twisted story of me and Ethan. Jordan sat there, completely engrossed.

"How crazy bizarre is that?" She exclaimed, when I was finished. "You just don't do simple, do you?"

"Apparently not. I'm complex." I lamented, as we stood up to clear our trash and head back to work.

"Well, I already have a guy friend that I like for you. He's laid back, easy going. I think you're going to like him."

"Well, set it up. Maybe he'll rub off on me."

Jordan smiled. "Should I tell him that? Rub off on you?"

"Real mature Jordan." I deadpanned, before we laughed.



I went back to work in better spirits. Talking with Jordan (and coffee!) helped. I had no other intentions besides being a friend to Forrest. And if Jordan felt like he wanted more than that, I would cut him off. It was that simple.

My rehab with Darren was a tough one. He started weight training this week. I know he's been pushing too hard because his muscles are too sore. He doesn't complain, but I could tell by the way he held his breath when I was stretching him to test his range of motion. I talked to him after getting him set up on the stim machine.

"You know I started you on weight training early?" When he nodded, I continued. "Part of that is cause I trusted you would take care of yourself and not push too hard. I'm thinking I misplaced my trust."

"You don't understand." Darren grumbled.

"I do. It's disappointing when your body has limitations that your mind doesn't want to accept. But you need to accept it if you wanna get your knee back to 100%."

"Will I be at 100% by football season?" He asked.

"No." When he frowned, I continued. "If you followed the routine, I can get you around 85% at the beginning of football practice. By the start of football season, you'll be at 90%. Mid-season you should be where you want to be. But that's only if you follow the rehab. If not, and you keep going the rate you're going, you're going to spend your senior year on the sideline hurt."

He nodded. I could tell he was still discouraged.

"C'mon Superman!!! That's what they call you, right? Even superman at 80% is better than the average. You gotta trust that!"

"Oh he knows! He's going to break that rushing record this year." I looked up to see Forrest smiling at us.

"Not if he keeps up overworking himself. Do you have any idea about that, Coach Sullivan?" I asked him, sternly.

"No..." he said, throwing up his hands. "I did catch him in the weight room at summer school. He claimed he was just hanging out." Forrest said, looking at Darren.

"Alrigh'. I got it. I'm sticking to the routine." Darren said.

"That's what I wanna hear!" Forrest said, patting him on the shoulder. "Can I borrow you?" He asked me.

"Sure." I said, leading him out to the main lobby. I looked over at the nurses station and caught Jordan's eye.

"What's up?" I said, coolly.

"This. Registration forms." He said, handing one over. I glanced over it briefly. It was the 5th annual event of the mud run for Prostate Cancer. It was in Fort Worth.

"Do you have another form? I talked my co-worker into coming." I said, nodding at Jordan as she joined us. I introduced them before Forrest handed me a stack of forms.

"I can go ahead and get you two registered. But feel free to invite whoever you want. Seems like you have a cool group of friends."

"If by cool, you mean crazy, then yes, yes I do." I smiled.

I filled out the forms for us while Jordan made small talk with Forrest. When I finished, I handed them back to him.

"Darren is your last appointment of the day right?" Forrest asked me.

"Right." I confirmed.

"Wanna grab some food with me? I can fill y'all in what y'all just got yourselves into."

I smiled, ready to agree when Jordan cut me off. "That's sweet. Your fiancee's not going be at home waiting for you?"

"Not all all. She's busy putting together the dinner that's after the mud run. She'd be proud to know I fed myself."

I laughed. "I need to go take Darren off stim. Be right back."

I hurried back to the training center to see Derek taking the electrode pads off Darren.

"How's it feeling, Darren?"

"Much better." Darren answered.

"We were going over the rehab plan you put together for Darren. Nice work." Derek complimented me.

"Thanks." After Darren left, Derek continued.

"You've done a great job with him. He was telling me what you told him. You handled that very well."

 I beamed.

"You could be a great therapist if you had the same drive and enthusiasm for all your patients. I just need you to focus while you're at work." He finished, giving Jordan and Forrest a pointed look, before returning to his office.

My face fell, but I recovered quickly and walked back out to Jordan and Forrest.

"Are you coming Jordan?" I asked her.

"Sure. Lets go get your things." She told me. We walked back to the training room and to the employee locker room. I grabbed my bag and slammed my locker shut.

"What's wrong?" Jordan asked me.

"Nothing. According to Derek, I lack focus and drive, but other than that, I'm great." I snapped.

"What did he say?" She gasped.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I just want a happy hour. Are you coming?" I asked.

"I have another half hour..."

"Can you meet us? I don't wanna wait around here."

She bit her lip. "No. Just go. I didn't get a good read on Forrest. Just don't let anything inappropriate happen ok?" Jordan coached.

"Of course not." I replied. When she left, I freshened up and changed into the basketball shorts and black Nike muscle tank I kept at work just in case. I can't help but feel frustrated. It's like I couldn't do anything right.

When I met Forrest in the lobby, he shook his head at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I have that same shirt."

"Well, obviously you have great taste." I said, as we walked out the building.

"Every time I think I got you figured out, you switch it up on me."

I smirked. "Don't try to figure me out. The only thing that's consistent about me is inconsistency."

"That must make it interesting for your boyfriend."

"No boyfriend. In fact, that was a direct quote from the last guy I tried to date." I said.

He smiled. "Don't take it personally. Some guys just aren't adventurous"

I smiled back. "I'm totally going to use that. 'I'm not crazy. I'm an adventure most guys can't handle'"

He laughed again before clearing his throat. "Jordan comin'?"

"Nope, just us." I said, before heading to my car.



He followed me to Chuy's. This time I wanted to sit on the patio. So we did. He ordered a beer and I got a Texas Martini. He was just as excited about the nacho bar as I was. I told him how huge and good the burritos looked, so we both ordered burritos.

While we waited for the food, we talked about our upbringing. I told him about growing up in California, with my adoptive family. He told me about growing up, in Shreveport, Louisiana, with his mother. His dad wasn't in the picture, but he knew who he was. Forrest's mother is White and his dad is Black and Native American. His mother eventually remarried, and that made him feel like a black sheep. Literally. It's kinda creepy how similar our childhoods' were.

"Well, you give me hope. I wanna be like you when I grow up." I said, finishing my drink.

"Why do you say that?" Forrest asked me.

"Cause you're well adjusted. Engaged. You can completely shut that chapter of your life when you start a new family with your fiancee." I explained.

"True." Forrest said. When the waiter brought out our food, he ordered us more drinks. I tried to say no, but he insisted.

"Yep. One more. For a toast. To my fiancee and you finding the same." He said.

When the drinks came out, we did just that.

"A toast to my fiancee. And a toast to you finding a man who can handle your crazy-"

"No. My adventurous spirit." I corrected, grinning.

"My bad. Your adventurous spirit." He repeated, before clinking his beer to my glass. We both took a sip.

 We spent the rest of the meal mostly eating and drinking, but also talking about the mud run. I couldn't help but notice how much female attention he was getting. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but feel a little cocky that he was here with me.

I took another sip of my second drink and smiled.

----------------------

When I got home that evening, I sent out a mass text to my friends about the mud run. Rocky responded immediately.

Rocky: Me? Play in mud? No thanks.

Trevor text back quickly too.

Trevor: I'm game! I'd never turn down an opportunity to watch you fall flat on your face in mud!

I was surprised when Ethan called me later that evening.

"Hello?" I asked, more curious than any other emotion I was feeling. I know we said we were going to be friends, but I was still unsure how that was going to work.

"Hey Lily. I'm picking up EJ in McKinney this weekend. So I'm gonna to have to pass on the run."

"Oh, that's ok. No big deal. It's last minute." I responded.

"I also called because my mom has been wanting me to ask what she could get you for a housewarming gift?" Ethan asked

"Ummm, I don't know. She really doesn't have to do that...." I said, surprised.

"You gotta think of something. Or she's just gonna buy something you have or don't need."

"I really can't think of anything... but can you ask her where she found her tv trays?" I said, quickly.

"Will do..." After a pause, he asked, "How have you been?"

"Good." I answered, honestly. "How bout you?"

"Bout the same."

"Good." I responded.

"Ok. I'll let you go. Have a goodnight.'

"You too." I said, before getting off the phone.

That wasn't so bad. Maybe we could be friends. I spent so much of my time with Ethan feeling like I had to catch up with him. Maybe that was my mistake. I should have just been true to myself. I smiled as I thought of the toast Forrest gave me. The next guy I date is going to have to keep up with me.