Mama, I'm Coming Home

"Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I ain't the same
Mama, I'm coming home
Times gone by, seems to be
You could have been a better friend to me
Mama, I'm coming home
You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes
You made me cry, you told me lies
But, I can't stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm coming home
I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad, it's been so long
Mama, I'm coming home

home" Mama, I'm coming home by Ozzy Osbourne 

After I dropped off my employee handbook to Nathaniel, I went home and got dressed to go shopping with Amber. We went to the mall and shopped around, looking for gifts for her mom, mother in law and Trevor’s mom and granny. Once we finally secured the gifts, I wished her a happy mother's day and went home.

Saturday, I was supposed to join Corey and Sammy at EJ’s soccer game, but it got rained out. I spent the day at home updating my resume and sending inquiries about jobs to a few people I went to graduate school with. On Friday, Nathaniel emailed me the formal grievance. Reading through it made it real for me. It also made me realize how much I didn’t want to go back to the clinic, so I needed to start looking for a new job.

I took a break around 2, when Trevor came over. He spent the morning working on the website and his coding videos. When he was done working, he kept distracting me with Vine videos. I instructed him to do something more productive with his time: like look up places to live.

The next time he distracted me was to show me a picture of a huge pool in a backyard home in Plano.

"Do we want a house?” I asked.

“Why not?”

“Are we ready for that commitment?”

“Of course I am. If you have doubts about us-“

“I don’t!” I stopped him. “I meant a house is permanent. We’re not just committing to each other, but to a location, our jobs, and a house. ”

“Oh...”

“I don’t have doubts about us. It's just hard for me to think about it when I don't have a job. I would love to live with you in a house.” I explained.

“With a mouse?” He smiled

“Yes.” I smiled too.

“In a box? With a fox?”

I laughed. “Yes, in a boat, with a goat. On a train, in the rain. In a tree, now let me be!”

Trevor laughed too. “We have time; let's just keep our options open."

"My lease is up at the end of June, we don't have time."

"Mine is up in August."

"Oh, so we get to stay at your place? With your rules?"

Trevor smiled. "Temporarily until you have a job and we find our place: whether it's an apartment or a house."

"Ok." I agreed. "I guess there's no harm in looking at houses."

"Exactly. Justine needs a backyard.”

I grinned. “Yeah, she does, but if I get kitchen duties, you get backyard duties.”

"Ha. Duties. Poop.” Trevor joked.

“You’re so lame.”

“You want to live with me, what does that make you?”

“Generous.” I replied.

We spent the rest of the day looking at realtor website and houses. Nothing specific considering we didn’t know our price range; just things that we liked. Like the fact that I wanted one story and he wanted a pool. Or I preferred an open floor plan, and he preferred a below the ground pool. I thought at least 3 bedrooms would be nice and he thought at least 6ft of water in the pool would be nice. I knew we would have to get serious about it soon, but it was fun to imagine our house and life together.



We were planning to drive to Wichita Falls that night so we didn’t have to wake up early Sunday, but they were under a tornado watch and I did not want to risk it. I promised to drive if we left early in the morning, so we did.  I played my Mother’s day playlist, featuring the classics “Stacy’s Mom” and “Mother Lover". Trevor stayed up and sang with me. I sang Justin Timberlake and Trevor was Andy Samberg. When "Mama Said Knock You Out" came on, Trevor shook his head at me.

“Why is your playlist so dark?”

I gave him a look, temporarily taking my eyes off the road.

“Really? What else would it be, considering the relationship I have with my mom?” I asked.

“You don't have a relationship cause you refuse to find her.” Trevor answered.

"Yeah, well I know enough to know it wouldn't be good."

"That's not fair. I might not be bad."

“I doubt it.” I sighed, but changed the song. “This is the relationship I hoped for.” I admitted, playing Spice Girls “Mama”.

Trevor rested his hand on my leg as we drove, stroking comfortingly.



We arrived at Trevor’s mom’s house around 9am. The only bad weather we ran into was rain. I woke Trevor up and we made our way into his childhood home. It was quiet, so we crept into Trevor’s old room.

“This is where the magic happened.” he said, letting me into his room.

“Lies! Your Uncle already told me about you. The only magic you had was online.”

“He doesn’t know what he's talking about.”

I smirked as I looked over his room. His room consisted of a twin bed, his computer, games and gadgets on a desk against the wall, and an entertainment center that held a TV. It was pretty plain, but I expected that from Trevor. He wasn't a bells and whistles kind of guy. He was a minimalist aka lazy. “No girl ever gave you any in this room.”

“You’re about to…” He smiled, coming closer to me.

“No Trevor!” I warded him off. I giggled as he tackled me to the bed.

“Get off of me.’ I shrieked, but then remembered to keep my voice down. “Now, or I will-“

“You’ll what?" He said, cutting me off and tickling my sides. I busted out laughing, trying to get out of his embrace.

“Stop!” I laughed, bucking against him.

"Never!" He said, tickling me harder. I couldn't stop the laughter as it erupted between us. I tried to squirm away, but he followed, laughing just as hard as me.

"Please!" I begged, gasping for air. He stopped tickling and laid beside me. He pulled me into his arms and was moving his lips to mine when his bedroom door opened.

"Trevor?" His mom said, from the doorway. Trevor quickly pulled away from me, smiling.

"Hey mom. Happy Mother's Day," he greeted her warmly, giving her a hug. I stood up quickly and straightened out my clothes and hair.

When they broke apart, I smiled at Trevor's mom.

"Happy Mother's day Mrs. Tobin."

"Thank you Lily. I didn't know you would be joining us." Mrs. Tobin said giving me a small smile.

"Apparently, I'm a surprise." I said, looking over at Trevor.

"A welcomed surprised." Trevor smiled at me.

"I'm going to go get ready for brunch. You two should do the same. You know how your granny is." Trevor's mom finished, giving Trevor another hug before leaving us.

As we changed, Trevor asked, "Why do you still call my mom Mrs. Tobin?"

"'Cause she never told me to call her anything else." I said, as I played with my hair in the mirror.

Trevor came behind me wrapping his arms around me, looking me over in my floral dress.

"You look amazing." He said, kissing my cheek.

"Then I'm ready to go." I said, with a smile.

We were in the kitchen waiting for Trevor's mom. I was trying to explain what a breakfast nook is to him.

"At Rocky's house, that little corner in the kitchen with the small table? That's a breakfast nook." I explained

"If my mom put a table right here-"

"No! It's not a nook!" I cut him off.

"I don't get it." He shook his head.

"Get what?" Mrs. Tobin said, joining us.

"You look great mom." Trevor complimented her.

"Thank you."

"I'm trying to explain to him the concept of a breakfast nook." I smiled.

"What for?" Mrs. Tobin asked.

"Apparently, Lily needs one in our house." Trevor told her.

"A house?" Mrs. Tobin, exclaimed.

"Yeah, we're looking at buying a house together." Trevor told her, proudly.

"We're thinking about it." I added quickly, giving Trevor another look. It was bad enough he didn't tell her I was coming, now he was springing on her we may be buying a house? He really didn't think things through. At all.

"Well, hopefully y'all have plenty of time to think that over. Let's go." Mrs. Tobin said, chirpily.

We all got into Trevor's car to go to brunch. I sat in the backseat and gave them time to chat. When we got to the restaurant, we were the first ones there. We got a table for 9 and sat down. We ordered coffee and water before Helen, Trevor's granny, 2 of her daughter's Cathleen and Barbara, and their kids Lisa, Reese and Elizabeth showed up. It was tradition that the adults went to brunch before separating and having plans with immediate family.

I felt a little out of place because no one else's significant other was there, but Lisa smiled at me.

"They're at home with the kids. It's Mother's Day, meaning we get the morning off." Lisa explained.

"I like that tradition." I smiled back.

"You would." Trevor teased. We looked over the menu and I asked Trevor what he recommended.

"You've never been to Cracker Barrel?" Barbara asked me.

"No, this is my first time." I said.

"I'm sure they don't have them where she's from." Mrs. Tobin commented.

"They're everywhere." Helen disagreed.

"I've never seen one in California, but I see them all the time in Dallas. Trevor's just never taken me." I answered, diplomatically.

"Every time we went out to eat growing up was at Cracker Barrel." Trevor stated.

"So you've outgrown Cracker Barrel huh? Too big for your britches?" Helen said, disapprovingly.

"No, just when you ordered everything twice, it's time to try something new." Trevor joked.

The waitress came back and took everyone's order. When the menus were cleared, Trevor pulled out the gifts and handed them to his mom and granny. "It's from Lily and me."

His mom opened hers first to reveal a wooden jewelry box. Inside, was an earring and necklace set that Trevor normally bought his mom.

"Thank you son. This is beautiful." Mrs. Tobin gushed.

"Thank Lily too. She picked it out." Trevor smiled.

"Thank you Lily." She said, closing the jewelry box.

"You're welcome."

Helen opened her bag and pulled out the cardigan I picked out like Trevor instructed. Then, she pulled out the throw blanket I picked out myself. Stitched in the corner was the green Tobin crest she had displayed in the front walkway of her home.

She ran her fingers over it and looked at me in surprised. "You made this?" She asked.

"No, I can't sew at all. I found someone who stitched it on for me." I admitted.

"I know you picked this out. Trevor been buying me sweaters since they stopped making him make noodle art in school." Helen remarked while we laughed.

"Hey!" Trevor butted in. "You said you loved my sweaters."

"Not much thought behind it." Helen quipped. She turned back to me. "That crest was one of the few things I took from our home. My husband was so proud of it and the Tobin name. Every time I look at it, I think of him. Thank you for that."

 "My pleasure."

"Trevor, did you tell granny your news?" Mrs. Tobin asked.

"What news?" He asked.

"About buying a house. In Dallas. With Lily." Mrs. Tobin announced.

The food was brought out before Helen could react. The shock was apparent on her face. I stared down at my coffee until Trevor grabbed my hand, reassuringly on top of the table.

"We're looking. As soon as I can figure out what a breakfast nook is and why Lily needs one, we might actually buy." Trevor said lightly.

"Doesn't Uncle Jimmy's house have one? I always thought it was a great place to raise a family." Lisa smiled.

Mrs. Tobin gave a little laugh. "I'm sure Lily doesn't want to live in the country."

I looked at Trevor, speechless. I didn't know what to say. Did he want to live in that house?

"In my day, you didn't move in until you were married but I'm happy that you're settling down. Wherever that may be." Helen told Trevor.

I nodded and we began eating.

"Once y'all get settled in, you can get me the coconut cake recipe. I'm still waiting on it." She informed me.

"What? I sent it to Mrs. Tobin." I said, turning to Trevor's mom.

"I didn't receive it." She bristled.

"I'll get it to you as soon as possible." I promised, apologetically.

We finished eating brunch and headed back to Trevor's mom place. We watched classic movies, like the kind that came on TCM. I felt like a complete intruder as they watched and laughed at movies they've obviously seen plenty of times, but I was so glad Trevor included me. The last movie we watched together was called "The Apartment". It ended with the main character confessing his love to a girl and she told him to shut up and deal.

When the movie was over, Trevor turned to me. "That's one of my mom's favorite movie. Probably why I fell for you, you tell me to shut up all the time."

"Shut up Trevor." I said, with a smile.

"I love you too darling."

"Ready for dinner?" Mrs. Tobin asked us.

Trevor nodded and I stood up too. Mrs. Tobin went to her room to get ready. I headed to Trevor's bedroom to do the same, but stopped.

"Can you log on to the computer so I can print out that recipe for your granny?" I asked.

"I'll do it. Just resend the email." Trevor offered.

"Thank you."

I was working on my make-up when Trevor joined me.

"Lily, do you mind if I take my mom out tonight? Alone?" He asked.

"No, not at all." I said, putting my make-up away.

"I just need to talk to her-"

I stopped him. "Babe, you don't need to explain anything. I completely understand. It's mother's day. Spend some time with your mom."

Trevor leaned in close and gave me a kiss. "I love you Lilypad."

"I love you too T-Rev."

They left for dinner and I ordered a pizza. While I was waiting, I posted a Mother's Day status on Facebook. I posted the video for MotherLover and captioned it:

Happy Mother's Day everyone! #MotherLover #EveryMother'sDayNeedsAMother'sNight! #ImmaBeTheSyrupYouCanBeMyWaffle

I watched Casablanca when the pizza arrived. I barely made it halfway through when Trevor returned to his room.

"That was quick." I commented, searching for my phone to see what time it was.

"Yeah, I have to work tomorrow remember?" He said, shortly.

I got up quickly. "That's right. Sorry." I said, getting ready to go.

We left without saying goodbye. When I asked Trevor about it, he said his mom went to bed. I had a sickening feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. Trevor tried to hide it, but I could feel it.

I pushed it away and followed him to the car. He sped all the way home. His quietness just confirmed my thoughts. I used the drive to finish watching Casablanca and to give Trevor some time. When we got to Trevor's apartment, Trevor went straight to bed.

I took Justine outside and fed her before joining him. He watched me intensely as I joined him.

"Are you ok?" I asked him, as I laid beside him.

"I'm fine." He said, unconvincingly as he pulled me in his arms. He kissed me deeply, his normally soft lips forced my lips apart roughly as he pressed against me.

"Trevor-" I moaned, breaking away to catch my breath.

"I love you-" He started, stroking my hair. "I want you so much. I need to be inside you."

I nodded my consent before kissing him again. He rolled on top of me and made quick work of removing my clothes as his lips and hands explored me everywhere. He pinned me down as he made love to me. I didn't try to break his hold. His aggressiveness surprised me, but I never felt trapped or afraid.

Afterwards, he leaned his sweaty forehead against mine and brushed his lips over my face.

"I'm committed to Dallas, my job, and you. I'm ready to buy a house and start a family. Let's get married." Trevor said softly.

I stared at him, stunned silent.