What's My Name?

***AAAAH! So excited to be back you guys!!! I told you I couldn't stay away long... I didn't get to go over all the older posts, but I set a goal of 5 post a week to edit, so I found peace with that. I also now have posts in reserve again! The whole next month is planned! It's an incredible feeling!

 I did get kinda down on myself, thinking I was losing readers and followers because of the mistakes, but then I thought about it, and read y'alls comments, and I'm thrilled with the readers I have! I get that this blog style, characters, editing, whatever is not every one's cup of tea, and that's fine. There are plenty of other blogs. If you don't want to read mine anymore, see you on the others!

But for my readers, thank you so much for your patience, support, time, and comments. I enjoy reading and writing but I love sharing this blogging universe with all of you!!!

Ok, that went long. Lol. If you didn't skip straight to the post, sorry! This post just catches us up to real time, gives a little recap of everything, and throws us into the next story lines starting regular posting next week. Enjoy!***


"Hey boy I really wanna see
If you can go downtown with a girl like me
Hey boy, I really wanna be with you
'Cause you just my type
Ooh na na na na
I need a boy to take it over
Looking for a guy to put in work-a
Ooh, ooh
You're so amazing,
You took the time to figure me out
That's why you take me,
Way past the point of turning me on
You bout to break me,
I swear you got me losing my mind
Ooh na na, what's my name?
Ooh na na, what's my name?" What's My Name by Rihanna feat. Drake

"Trevor is coming to my graduation right?" Amber panted as we hit the treadmill at the gym Tuesday.

I nodded, breathlessly. "Of course! He wouldn't miss it." I huffed.

"Are y'all finally gonna do it?" She grinned at me.

I put my ear buds in to ignore her. It had been almost 2 weeks since Trevor and I celebrated New Year's and decided to be together. That day was the closest we got to consummating our new relationship.

Trevor was on top of me on the couch, his hand rubbing on my legs, pulling them around his waist as he kissed me, over and over. I returned each kiss, rubbing my hands on his back, under his shirt.

When he pulled away, we stared into each other's eyes. It was so intense; so many emotions were colliding within me. All the love I had for him, trust that we could make this work, desire to be more than friends, and disbelief that it was happening. Trevor and me. Finally...

I reached up to grab his neck and brought his lips back to mine. I kissed him desperately. I was ready to see how good we were together. There was only one way to find out...

...But Bilal came home and we jumped apart. After fixing our clothes and telling Bilal he didn't have to leave, we sat with Bilal while he ate, teased us and told us he and Noorie were taking a break.

"What does that even mean for a guy?" I asked Trevor of Bilal's 'break' as I got ready to go home. I had to work the next morning and I still had to pick up Justine from Rocky's.

"It means I'll be coming out to see you next weekend so we can have some time alone." Trevor said as he pulled me in for a hug.

"I'm off next weekend. I'll come see you since I can't come out here when I'm on call." I suggested.

"Fine. We'll just stay in my room." Trevor promised, kissing me on the lips softly.

The next weekend I spent hanging out with him and Cat in the living room as they finished working on the website. Cat was standoffish with me, but I was fine with that. Her roommate, Amelia, fucked my boyfriend; we weren't going to besties anyway. I was sure she wasn't happy that I went off on her boyfriend Kenji, but I stood by what I said, even though Trevor disregarded me and my brother's opinion.

I talked to my brother about Trevor's situation when I got back to Dallas. He completely agreed with me. While there may not be any money on the website yet, Cam was against doing any work without a contract. He got off the phone with me and called Trevor right away. I got a text from Trevor 10 minutes later.

Trevor: Thanks for sending your brother after me. I told you I got it

Me: Whateva

So that's how I spent the next weekend hanging with Bilal and his friend Ian while they worked. I gave Trevor dirty looks the whole time.

"Sorry about that." Trevor apologized after Cat left late Saturday night.

"For what?" I said, annoyed. "Cutting our time short or making me look like an idiot by continuing to work with them without an agreement?"

He smiled. "You don't look like an idiot..."

"Fine, a liar." I countered.

"Why don't we just let it go?"

"No. You didn't hear the way he talked to me." I shook my head.

"Don't hold that against him. He's a good guy. The book is being released early. He wants everything done right. He was stressed."

"You were sick!"

"He didn't know that. He thought I was avoiding his calls, with some random girl answering my phone-"

"Random girl?!?!"

"You know what I meant: random to him. The only thing he knows about me personally was my time with Amelia-"

"Are you trying to piss me off?" I interrupted again.

"No! I meant, I used to go over to Cat's place and we would work together all the time. Now, I don't want to be around Amelia so we can only work over here."

"Ok..." I said, wondering what that had to do with anything.

"So look at it through Kenji's eyes. It makes me look bad, but we cleared it up. It was just a misunderstanding: Can you move past it, for me?" Trevor pleaded.

"Fine, but I can still be upset that I didn't get as much time with you."

Trevor grinned at me. "The night is not over. Let's go out."

"The only places open are bars." I said, lying down on the bed, hopefully seductively. I gave him a look over, hoping he would pick up on the clues to what I wanted to do with our remaining time together.

He looked me over before getting up and leaving the room. I sat up, frowning.

I didn't get it. Why wasn't he trying to have sex with me? We were together. We didn't announce it on social media or anything, but he was definitely my boyfriend. Well, we hadn't really talked about that either, but it was assumed. Or I assumed it. I referred to him as such. Before, he said he didn't want to have sex until we were together. What was his excuse now?

Trevor snapped me out of my thoughts. He got me up, told me to bundle up, and we left. I didn't have high hopes for a romantic date when he instructed me to wear gloves and one of his beanie caps. I watched him grab a bag and put it in the trunk. Maybe he wanted privacy at a hotel?...

My hopes were dashed when we stopped at a 24 hour cafe. I rolled my eyes. He would rather sit around drinking coffee than have sex with me? Or did he just want to be properly caffeinated before the act?

He actually just picked up 2 large hot chocolates to go and my hopes were renewed, until he drove to Pfluger Pedestrian Bridge. After we parked, I grabbed the drinks and Trevor grabbed the bag he packed and we walked on the bridge.

It was a cool little bridge over the Colorado River. It offered a great view of the water and Austin's skyline. There were flowers, including blue bonnets, lining the bridge that you could walk, ride bikes, or loiter on. There was also a great view of the graffiti on the train bridge. We stopped so I could take a picture of the Mrs. Pac-Man drawing with the phrase "Never Give Up". Afterwards, we made our way to a bench overlooking the water.

"It's cold." I complained as I sat. 

Yeah, I was acting like a brat. The bridge was cool, but I was confused. We weren't consummating the relationship out here. When was he going to make a move?

"One second." Trevor said, lighting a few candles he pulled out his bag, giving us extra light. He pulled out a snuggie he got for Christmas and helped me put it on before handing me a Battleship board.

I grinned at him. "Really? Trying to go to war with me?"

"Bring it Lilypad." He smiled.

The thrill of the competition distracted me from sex. 

Well played Trevor. 

I made us turn back to back as we played. After I sunk his second ship, I felt him fidgeting on the bench. I turned around to see him turning away from me.

"You cheater!" I exclaimed.

"Am not. If I was cheating, I would have sunk yours. You're cheating!" Trevor exclaimed, looking over his shoulder at me.

"Whatever." I laughed, picking up my hot chocolate and taking a sip. "Neither one of us can turn around or you're automatically disqualified!"

"Ok." Trevor agreed.

I was down to the last hit on what should be his air craft carrier.

"G-4."

"Miss." Trevor said.

I looked at my board in confusion. That didn't make any sense.

"It has to be!"

"No."

I put my board down and turned around. I sat up on my knees on the bench to look over his shoulder. 

"Liar! I see it!"

"My mistake... But you just forfeited by turning around."

"After you cheated!"

"It was an honest mistake." Trevor chuckled.

"Honest my ass. Victory is mine!" I declared.

"Oh yeah?" Trevor laughed turning around, putting his board down too. 

"This snuggie is mine." He said, pulling the blanket and me against him. He wrapped his arms around me, grabbing my butt under the snuggie blanket. “What about your ass?" He asked, with a grin.

"My... ass... won..." I said between kissing him on the face.

"I don't mind losing like this." Trevor said, before his lips found mine. I forgot about the cold. The only thing I felt was sparks between us. It was electrifying.

We stayed there for about an hour, just kissing and feeling each other up, but nothing more than that. It was actually kinda perfect: testing the chemistry as friends and lovers. I was sure we passed. What was bothering me was that we still hadn't gone further than making out.

I made the mistake of voicing my concerns with Amber. She was waiting for her test results for her nursing certification and had free time on her hands since she wasn't going to school during the week anymore. She called me up to join a gym with her so she would have something to do when the kids were in school and she was off from work. I quickly agreed. We had been working out together and I told her about Trevor and my lack of love life.

"I'm serious." Amber smiled. "You might just have to do it. Y'all have been friends so long, it might just be awkward. Just jump him and see what happens."

"Urgh, Amber. That's not my style. That just sounds.. pathetic."

"Having sex with your boyfriend is not pathetic. It's either that or talk to him about it. Technically, you've only been dating 2 weeks. It's not weird y'all haven't had sex. It's normal, but if it's bothering you, do something about it." Amber argued.

I made a face. She was right. I sounded like a sex starved animal. I needed to chill.

Work was picking back up when the doctors started performing surgeries, so I was able to focus on that and not lack of sex with Trevor. Forrest referred one of his co-workers to my clinic that had a collarbone fracture. He opted against surgery and just wanted physical rehab. It was also time for our annual reviews so I set up my appointment time with Sandra and Ann. It would determine if I was getting a raise and I was super excited about that.

Money wasn't tight, but I wasn't able to save what I wanted paying the rent by myself. My dad always preached having 3 months of expenses saved up for a rainy day. My rainy day fund was hurting from the holidays, driving back and forth to Austin and extra living expenses. It sucked having to pay the entire rent, especially now that I had Justine and had to pay an additional pet deposit plus vet bills, supplies and food for her.

Rocky just gave me an "I told you so look" when I complained about my situation.  Rocky couldn't see me paying that much to rent. She told me she could work with me and get a mortgage payment for the same price. I told her I wanted a house with my future husband. Rocky advised me to get my priorities straight like she did: she got herself together, including a house, and her future husband came next. 

I couldn't argue with her theory. Brandon and Rocky were solid, but I still didn't want a house yet. I didn't want that type of commitment to a house and the upkeep.  I did entertain the idea of a roommate, more specifically, Jasmine. She moved out of her place with Reggie when they broke up. He felt like it was ok to stay out, without Jasmine, 'networking' for gigs, drinking, and acting inappropriately with other girls because he never crossed that line by cheating. Jasmine had enough and dumped him.

She was staying with her dad and his wife Stephanie and looking for a place. As much as I liked her as a person, I figured with Jake it would be too awkward. He still refused to acknowledge my existence. Besides, I didn't want to risk another friendship (and hair stylist!) by living with her. I was grateful Sammy and I survived living together. I didn't want to go through that again.

Speaking of, Sammy and Corey made it official on New Year's Eve. I was so happy for them. They really had a great time together and he settled Sammy down. I was excited to see what the New Year brought for them.

I already knew 2015 would include my brother's and Forrest's making their commitments to Jenna and Rachel official by getting married. I couldn't wait for both weddings. Forrest and Rachel set a date and location: June 13th at The Orchard outside of Ft. Worth.

Cam and Jenna hadn't set a date, but they didn't want a long engagement. Cam was already looking into jobs in California. The wedding would be in Kansas City for Jenna's family. My dad didn't complain. He would go anywhere just knowing his only son was raising his family in California.

Jordan had calmed down on the ring hunt herself. She and Derek had their first fight while living together. She left to stay with a friend for a night, but they made up. It made her realized that marriage was permanent and she needed to give them time to grow and not pressure it. She said she would give them time to just live together, then go from there. I admired her new attitude.

I was most proud of Amber. 2015 was already starting off great for her. She was about to be a certified RN, had a new schedule, and planned time for herself. I loved hanging out with her. She didn't seem burnt out or exhausted, just happy. I was glad I got to see her accomplish her goal of finishing school. She and Sammy started school together. Sammy found a new goal, but Amber stuck to her dream. I was ecstatic to see that dream become fulfilled.

I was surprised that Ethan helped as far as planning Amber's graduation dinner. He actually asked me if we were planning something, and I just told him I didn't want to step on Will's toes. Well, I kinda did, but didn't for Amber's sake. Ethan acted like the go between Will and me and we planned a nice surprise for Amber. I figured with the New Year, Ethan would be throwing himself until his partner job and wouldn't look up until 2016, but he didn't. He really was focusing on the present and balancing his life more. It was great to see.

Ethan made me remind myself of the snowflake. I was looking forward to what 2015 would bring me, but I was learning to enjoy the present as well.

----------------

I was standing in the mirror in my room, looking over the blue dress that I had just put on. I was trying to find a cute, but appropriate dress to wear to Amber's graduation and the dinner we planned afterwards. I really was working on my budget. Instead of shopping for something new with Amber, I stuck with my own wardrobe. I heard a knock on the door and Justine rushed for it. I smiled and followed her. By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, the door was opening.

"Why bother knocking if you’re just gonna unlock the door?" I asked Trevor as I met him at the door.

"To keep you on your toes." He smiled at me, petting Justine before pulling me in for a hug. I pressed my lips against his. It was a brief kiss because his lips were freezing.

"What the hell?" I pulled away. It wasn't that cold outside.

"Want some of my Slurpee?" He asked, holding up his large drink.

"No! It's cold! I can't believe you stopped for a Slurpee."

"Gas too. It's cheaper out here. $1.69"

"Did you get your heat fixed in your car yet?" I asked.

"Not yet... what are you all dressed up for?"

"If you get sick again, I'm not helping you. I was picking out a dress for Amber's graduation." I answered, walking up the stairs.

"If you go out in half a dress, you're gonna be the one sick" Trevor followed me up the stairs.

"Half a dress?" I said, going in my closest.

"Yeah, chunks are missing out of that one: In the front and back." Trevor commented.

"Statements like that is why I'm the brain and you're Pinky." I said, even though I was just thinking the dress looked a little out of season. I grabbed a couple more options out my closet then headed in the bathroom to change.

I came back out with a red wrap dress. I stood in the mirror and examined myself. I watched Trevor's reaction in the mirror. He looked me over with a little smile on his face.

"Better. At least that one has a back."

"What about the front?" I teased.

"What front?"

I rolled my eyes. "It has a front, just a low neckline."

"How is it a neckline when it's nowhere close to the neck?"

I stuck my tongue out at him and went back to the bathroom. I tried on the last dress. It was my favorite by far. It was a beige, long sleeved ruched dress that was modest enough for a graduation but also good for a night out.

I came out, my mind already made up. I wanted Trevor's reaction.

His eyes widened and he very quickly said, "Next."

I frowned. "What? There isn't a next. What's wrong with this one?"

"You look naked." He pointed out.

I laughed at him. "I'm wearing a dress. How do I look naked?"

"It blends in with your skin."

"Ok..."

"From a distance, you look naked."

"First of all, I do not look like this naked! Second of all, maybe if you see me naked you would know that. Third of all, this is what I'm wearing, so if you don't like it you can blow me!"

"Take off the dress and I will." Trevor grinned at me.

I knew he was teasing, but I took it as a challenge. I took a deep breath.

Just do it. Make the first move. Seduce him. Think sexy. And fierce. And strong. And fearless. Like Rihanna. Oh fuck, I'm no Rihanna, her body is amazing... Focus Lily! You can do this!!!

I shimmied out of the dress. There was nothing sexy about getting the dress off, but Trevor was so surprised by my actions, he didn't notice.

"W-" He cleared his throat and tried again. "What are you doing Lily?"

"Exactly what you said, taking off the dress." I said, with all the confidence I could muster. I stood in front of him, the dress pooled at my feet. The only thing I wore were black bikini cut panties and a black bra. Trevor's eyes darted all over my body. His face was flushed and it gave me a boost of confidence.

"Dress is off." I said, matter of factly.

"Right..." Trevor said, still staring at my body.

I stood there, waiting for him to make a move. I waited until right when things got weird, then I kissed him hard against his mouth. He kissed me back, just as hard.

Our mouths met and the passion rising between us melted away all weirdness. His hands rested safely on my waist, his thumbs rubbing over the trim of my panties. A giggle escaped my lips as I thought about Trevor touching my panties.

"You're not supposed to be laughing." Trevor said against my lips, smiling. 

I blushed. "You're supposed to be blowing me." I countered.

"Wanna lie down?" Trevor asked.

I gulped, nervously and nodded. We laid down together. We started kissing again, and all my nerves, anxiety and insecurities faded away...

..Until he breathed against my lips the wrong fucking name.