Break Free

"If you want it, take it
I should've said it before
Tried to hide it, fake it
I can't pretend anymore
I only wanna die alive
Never by the hands of a broken heart
Don't wanna hear you lie tonight
Now that I've become who I really are" Break Free by Ariana Grande

Forrest: So your relationship didn't survive Vegas?

Me: Shut it Forrest!

Forrest: I'm serious! We were planning a coed bachelor/bachelorette trip. But not if it's a relationship killer.

Me: Coed party? Super lame. Can't y'all have that apart? You will have the rest of your lives together. Vegas was great, coming home was the problem.

Forrest: Lol. Ok. Still going to be at the game this week?

Me: Sure will!

Forrest: Cool. Talk to you then.

"Hey, I'm ready." Jordan called to me in waiting area.

I put my phone back in my purse and followed her out. While I waited for her to get off work, I responded to Forrest's text. Rachel was one of the ones that texted me right when the break up happened, but this was my first time talking to Forrest about it. I was glad he didn't push for details. He called Jake's behavior out a looong time ago. I should have listened.

Jordan and I were going to my apartment to get dressed to meet Derek, Steven and Q at Twin Peaks. Q's girlfriend worked at the location in Addison and Jordan asked me to join them. It sounded so much more fun than TV and the grilled chicken I set out for dinner, so I agreed. Instead of driving all the way back to her apartment then to Addison, I offered to loan her an outfit so we could change at my place.

While she rummaged through my clothes, we caught up. Jordan was contemplating moving in with Derek.

"I don't know Lily. I really want to, but I don't know if he wants to." Jordan explained, looking through my dresses.

"Who brought it up?" I asked, wiggling into a pair of denim skinny jeans. I paired it with a white, off the shoulder blouse and black booties.

"He did, only after I told him my lease was up next year. I told him the rent was increasing, and I didn't think it was worth it and he was like 'wanna move in?'" Jordan said.

"OK... What did you say?" I asked.

"That I'll think about it."

"I don't know if anyone should take relationship advice from me, but you want to. He offered. Why not just go for it?"

"Because, I don't know if he offered because he feels like I was fishing for it and he feels like he has to. You should have seen his face when his mom asked us if we were getting married." She said, shaking her head.

"Geez, subtle mom."

"There is nothing subtle about her, at all. I just said there was no rush, but you know how guys are."

I gave Jordan a smirk. "I kept a boyfriend for a month. I really don't."

"Aw, I'm sorry. I'm being a bitch. How are you doing?"

"Better. I'd rather talk about when you and Derek are getting married." I teased.

"Now you're being a bitch." Jordan smiled. "Wow, these are interesting." She said, holding up gold harem pants. The ones I wore on the first night Jake and I slept together.

"Wanna wear them?" I said, forcing away the memories of that night.

"I don't think I can pull them off." She put them away and pulled out black shorts and a white button down.

I went downstairs as she got dressed.

"Sammy!?!" I called. I found her in the kitchen talking on the phone.

"Hey Corey, Lily needs me. I'll give you a call-"

"No it's cool. We're going out to eat. You and Corey should join us!"

Sammy gave me an annoyed look, but she told Corey she would call him back with details.

"Where and who?" She sighed.

"Work friends, including Jordan, at Twin Peaks."

"Do you know what Twin Peaks is?"

"No..."

"It's a Hooter's knock off." She informed me.

I grinned. "Sounds fun!"



After Sammy got dressed, we headed out together. Derek, Q, Steven and Corey were already seated. There was an extra seat for Kendal. I wasn't aware he was joining us.

"I didn't know you lived in Addison." Q said to me as I sat down.

"You never asked." I replied.

"My girlfriend lives here too. We hang out here all the time." Q said.

"Cool. My new favorite bar is down a block. It's called Memphis"

"Never been." He said.

Q's girlfriend, Yolanda, came to take our order. We just ordered beers since we were waiting for Kendal.

I asked Steven about his job at the children's hospital. He was telling me how different it was working with children and their parents. He said it was tougher than he imagined. He had just finished telling me about a 6 year old with cerebral palsy when Kendal arrived. He took the seat next to Q.

"You drove all the way to Denton?" Q asked him.

"Yeah, I didn't wanna come out in work out gear." Kendal shrugged. He looked nice in gray cargo shorts and a white t-shirt.

We all ordered food and chatted amongst ourselves.

"So what do you think about Sandra?" Derek asked me.

"I think she's ok-" I started when Q snickered. "Different, but no complaints." I finished.

"I heard you're her go to girl now." Steven smiled at me. I gave Q a dirty look.

"I volunteered to work more to keep my mind off my break up." I said, matter of factly. "I figured that would be more productive then busting the windows out of his car."

"No, not the Escalade. Don't do that." Q commented, while they laughed.

"Sounds like a douche. Any guy that drives a car like that is compensating for something." Kendal added.

Whoa. He was a little too new to the circle to be making comments like that.

"We just broke up. I'm not at the talk shit about him stage yet." I said, coolly.

"Keep drinking. We'll get you there, cause I've been meaning to tell you what a dick he is. And, you know, rub it in that you chose him over me." Corey grinned at me.

"I hate you Corey." I said, taking a huge gulp of my beer while he laughed.

-----------

After dinner, Q talked me into taking them to my favorite bar. His girlfriend Yolanda, Sammy, Kendal, Corey, Derek and Jordan all went too. I wasn't planning on drinking, but they had a happy hour on shots and Q was buying rounds, so I drank.

I had so much fun dancing to the cover band, taking shots and hanging out with everyone. I didn't once worry about making a fool of myself or sending the wrong message to guys. I just had a good time. I hadn't felt that good in forever. I felt... free.

"How did you find this place?" Sammy laughed at me, as the band took a break and we made our way to the bar. We left the group to dance on the floor. We didn't stop till the band stopped.

"Jake and I came here. I spent the whole night dancing in my chair so Jake wouldn't get pissed off if a guy danced with me." I blurted out as we sat. We went to the bar and ordered drinks.

"He sucks so fucking much." Sammy declared.

I laughed and nodded.

After the bartender came back with our drinks, Corey joined us. We chatted for a bit before Sammy took her drink and said she'll be right back.

"So... how are things?" I smiled at him.

"They're good..." He said, nodding.

"So when are you and Sammy going to make it official?"

"We're just friends." Corey answered.

"Friends with benefits?" I questioned.

"Not like that." He emphasized.

I was going to ask him about their overnight hang outs when Sammy rushed back.

"Where's your phone Corey?" She squealed, excitedly.

"In my pocket."

"Pull it out!!!" She commanded. "We need to get this."

"Get what?" I asked, confused. Sammy just grinned at me.

"We normally don't take request..." One of the female singers from the band started when they came back. "But we got a ridiculously huge tip and a fairly easy song. So we figured why the hell not. Miss Lily...come on down!!!" The crowd applauded while I turned and looked at Sammy. Corey was laughing and recording me while Sammy just grinned.

"What the fuck did you do?" I yelled at her.

"Go!" Sammy declared. I shook my head, but then Corey started cheering my name, so I got the fuck up before it got worse. I made my way up to the stage. The bassist helped me up.

"So Lily, I heard you're recently single?" The singer said into the mic. I just nodded, blushing.

"So why did you two break up?" She continued, holding the mic to my mouth.

"Um... irreconcilable differences." I said, simply into the mic. A got a few laughs from the crowd. The majority from my table. Assholes!

"Ok....that's code for cheating. Who cheated?" She interrogated me, with a smirk on her face.

"No...no one." I answered.

"He did! With his best friend!!!" Sammy called out from the audience. I looked over at her and busted out laughing. Omar did act like a scorned lover. I doubled over laughing at that thought.

"I think she's lost it..." the singer laughed.

I shook my head and calmed myself. "They didn't cheat, maybe cuddled at most." I joked, grinning.

"Girlfriend, why would you let him be best friends with a girl?" Another singer in the band asked me, while the crowd laughed.

"I didn't. It was a guy. They grew up together. Supposedly." I laughed with the crowd.

"Wow. Shit just got weird. Let's just play the fucking song!" The original singer cheered.

The crowd joined her as Ariana Grande's "Break Free" came on. The lead singer started belting out the song while I danced alongside her and the bassist.

After the song, she gave me a hug and I hopped off the stage. Sammy rushed to join me. I gave her a hug.

"You're fucking crazy, but I love you!" I laughed her.

"Ditto bitch." Sammy smiled.

We stayed until closing time, dancing and laughing and having an amazing time. Which was great, until I had to be up the next morning for work.

"You look as good as I feel." Jordan moaned to me, as I dropped off coffee at the nurses station for her.

"Be nice or I'll take it away." I told her, also leaving a breakfast taco from Fuzzy's for her.

"You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen!!!" Jordan said, before digging into her food.

"Much better." I smiled at her, heading to the training center.

Q had the day off, but Kendal looked perfectly fine, like he got a full night of sleep instead of staying up drinking with us.

"How you holding up rock star?" He asked me with a grin as I walked by. When I grimaced, at the nickname and the thought of my drunken performance in front of him, he laughed. Stupid boys.

At lunch I tried to meet up with Jordan, but she was working through it to leave early. She did ask me if I wanted to go with her to the UT game at the fair. Derek was an alumni and was going this year since he no longer worked weekends. I told her I would let her know later. Part of me wanted to go, but I felt like I needed to finally meet up with Jake. I would probably see what his weekend looked like.

I just grabbed a salad at the store and ate my lunch at work. I had notifications on my Facebook. I opened it and saw that Corey tagged me in pictures he uploaded from last night. I also saw Sammy uploaded the whole video of me dancing on the stage, including the comments I made about Jake. I called her as soon as I saw it.

"Hey Sammy. Take the video down. It's kinda mean, and childish. Hilarious, but childish." I told her.

"Have you checked your facebook? After I posted the video?"

"I haven't. What's up?" I asked.

"Check Jake's page." She said.

I hung up and did so immediately. The most recent thing was a post that Omar tagged Jake in. It read:

Dedicated to @Jake and his ex girlfriend.

Chris Brown- Loyal

 #YouAllAboutHer#SheAllAboutHers
#HoesAin'tLoyal

"You ok?" I looked up to see Kendal as he approached the table I was sitting at.

"Yeah. Great." I lied, before throwing away the rest of my salad, putting my phone in my bag and heading back to work.