Lilian Harris is a fictional 25 year old that just move back to Dallas. Follow her journey as she finally decides to live life for herself and not the one her adoptive family chose for her. Post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Contact me on Lilysplaylist@gmail.com
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Friday, September 19, 2014
Simply Amazing
She ain't perfect, but she's worth it
Every breath I breathe, for the life of me
And I know I might not deserve it
But she loves me, and it's simply amazing- Simply Amazing by Trey Songz
By the time Jake arrived back at my apartment to pick me up, I convinced myself everything would be fine. I already spoke to my brother. Trevor was going to be there. Jake said he was going to be cool. Trevor didn't know any better, so as long as I kept our conversations PG, nothing would go wrong. And if it did, I knew I all I had to do was run interference to keep things from getting weird. Or awkward. Or hostile.
I dressed casually in jeans and a long sleeved 49ERS shirt. I didn't put on any make-up and just pulled my hair back into a simple ponytail. I grabbed the chili I made and we headed over to my brother's apartment.
When we got there, Cam let us in.
"Hey Bro!" I said, smiling, giving him a hug. He looked ready for the game wearing a Frank Gore Jersey and 49ers cap.
"Hey sis, Jake, come in." Cam said, letting us in.
Jake and Cam shook hands and I said I quick hello to everyone, including Trevor and headed to the kitchen. Jenna and another woman were in the kitchen. I set down the pot and greeted Jenna warmly.
"Lily! How is everything?" Jenna smiled at me, giving me a hug.
"Good, how are you?" I asked her.
"Just good? A new boyfriend and it's just good?" Jenna questioned.
"Amazing, I mean." I smiled.
"Better. This is my friend Emily." Jenna introduced us.
"Nice to meet you."
"Lily, are you gonna make Jake a plate?" Cam asked me as he joined us in the kitchen.
"Um, did something happen to his arms and leg since I've been in the kitchen?" I asked, sarcastically.
"You're such a brat." Cam told me, grabbing beers.
I stuck my tongue out at him as he left for the living room. I went ahead and made Jake a plate.
Jake smiled at me when I handed him his plate.
"Thanks Cariño." Jake said, gratefully.
"You're very welcome."
"I'll take mine next." Trevor grinned at me.
"Nope. You know where the kitchen is. Help yourself." I told him, heading back into the kitchen. Trevor got up and joined me. We made our plates together.
"So... I noticed you deleted our Facebook conversation." Trevor pointed out.
"Nothing gets by you." I said, simply. Hoping he would get the hint.
"Let me guess. The boyfriend made you?" He asked.
"No one makes me do anything." I snapped at him.
"OK. I'm just saying. He's dressing you now, dictating how you act, monitoring your Facebook... Sounds a little 50 shades of fucked up to me. I'm concerned." Trevor said.
I stopped making my plate and looked at him. "Don't be. If he ever adds a red room to his apartment, then be concerned. For him, not for me. And don't quote that book. It's embarrassing you even know it." I said, before continuing to make my plate.
Trevor laughed at me. "So are we gonna go see it next year?"
"It comes out on Valentine's day. So no, I will be with my boyfriend." I said, finishing my plate. "And besides, I refuse to support that nonsense."
"Bootlegged?" Trevor asked me as I walked out.
"If you can get it," I answered, before joining Jake on the couch with my plate.
"Is that all you're eating?" Cam asked me. I got very little of everything.
I nodded. "I'm watching what I eat before our Vegas trip. We're going for Jake's birthday." I explained.
"You don't need to diet. You look fine." Jake told me.
"Thanks, but my itinerary for Vegas includes drinking, eating and no working out. I gotta balance it out by eating better now." I explained.
"No more all about that bass?" Trevor asked me. Jake remained calm. I smiled at him.
"Nope. That song is officially played out." I answered.
----------------------
The rest of the game was drama free. The only disagreement was when we got into a discussion about all the domestic violence going on in the NFL. Cam thought the new punishment by Roger Goodell suspending Ray Rice indefinitely was too harsh. I agreed, but I felt like the original punishment of 2 games was so pathetic they had to cover their ass. Jenna felt like the first video tape was enough to suspend him for life.
"Why did America need to see the actual footage inside the elevator to understand the severity?" Jenna questioned.
"Because this is America. Innocent until proven guilty." Trevor replied.
"Oh come on Trevor. Why would he be dragging her outside an elevator?" Jenna asked him.
"At first they said she had too much to drink." Trevor shrugged.
"Considering your wingman is patron, I know you've had your fair share of dealing with drunk women." I started. Cam and Trevor laughed at that. "So you know her walking in, perfectly fine and falling unconscious is very unlikely." I finished.
"I know that. I'm just saying from the NFL side of it, why not believe him? Considering this is the first time anything has ever happened with him." Trevor said.
"Even if they didn't see the tape, he was indicted. Meaning a jury thought there was enough evidence to think aggravated assault occurred. No doubt in my mind, they knew that a tape existed when he was suspended for 2 games. Whether they saw it or not, they knew. Like Lily said, the NFL is just covering its ass now." Jake responded.
No one could argue with that. I beamed at Jake.
"Baby, I'm shocked. You sounded like a lawyer or something." I grinned at him.
"Why would you be shocked? He has a degree in criminal justice." Cam said.
I looked at Cam, then Jake. He looked really uncomfortable. "I didn't know that." I said.
"How did you know that?" Jake asked my brother.
Cam smirked. "Think I would let you around my little sister without checking you out first?"
"Cam, that's so creepy. What's wrong with you?" I exclaimed.
Everyone laughed.
I turned to Jake. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I'm not like you. When we met, you were like 'Hi, I'm Lily. I'm a doctor'" Jake answered.
I smiled. "Did not, but that's not the point. You let me compare you to Observe and Report when you have a criminal justice degree!"
Trevor laughed. "I loved that movie."
"Doesn't mean I wanna be a lawyer." Jake shrugged.
"Lawyers don't carry guns. That's so much sexier." I grinned.
"T.M.I." Cam declared.
"Oh, look who's talking Mr. Background check." Jenna said.
Everyone laughed at Cam.
The 49ERS lost to Chicago in the second half of the game. Jake drove us to my apartment afterwards. On the drive, I got a text from an unknown number.
Unknown: How did y'all let Jay Cutler come back and beat ya?
I called the number back. No anonymous asshole was going to talk shit about my 9ERS. Especially after a close loss.
"Hello?"
I took me a minute, but I recognized the voice.
"Blake? How the hell did you get my number? And OMG, Shut up. I didn't hear shit from you last week when the 49ERS crushed the cowboys! At home!" I exclaimed.
Blake laughed. "Forrest, and you didn't come to the party last week."
"Yeah, cause I didn't wanna rub it in." I laughed.
"Sure..."
We got off the phone after that. I saved his number in my phone.
"Who was that?" Jake asked.
"Remember that Blake kid we played corn hole with? Forrest's friend." I said.
"How did he get your number?" Jake asked.
"Apparently Forrest." I said.
"Why would he think it's cool to give out your number to random guys?"
"Guy. He's not random. We talked at the game watching party. He knows about you. We just trash each other teams." I explained.
Jake nodded. We got to my townhome and went up to my room. After a quickie, Jake got up to leave.
"I have to be at work early." He informed me. I nodded and got up to walk him out.
This past week has been hectic. With Derek, Steven and Christy being gone, we felt disconnected. And without new therapists, we were under staffed. I stayed late all week taking on new patients while still dealing with mine. Most nights I came home, made dinner, talked to Jake and climbed into bed. I woke up early to get a work out in, so by the time I got home, I was exhausted.
Jake told me he wanted to see me on Wednesday, but I told him Thursday would be better. Thankfully, it was my short day. So I would get off at my normal time even with the added patients. I planned to go out to dinner with Jake, but Sandra called me into her office right when I was getting ready to leave. She wanted me to stay to help her work out rehab plans, so I would be late again.
I called Jake to let him know.
"Hey babe. I'm sorry. I'm staying late again. I'm already exhausted." I asked.
"Ok. That's cool. If you're tired, get some rest." He said shortly. I felt bad for cancelling on him.
"I still wanna hang out with you." I said, quickly. "We can go out tonight. I'll be home in another hour. Ok?"
" ok. " Jake replied.
I really was dead on my feet, but I would push through it for Jake. When I got off, I tried to call him. When there was no answer, I just headed home. Sammy was there when I arrived. She grinned at me. Weirdo. I tried Jake one more time as I trudged up the stairs. I was shocked to hear ringing coming from my room.
When I opened my bedroom door, Jake was in my room. Bathwater was ready in the tub and a new pink lace cami and boyshorts set sitting out for me. My face broke out into a smile and I hugged him close.
"Thank you Jake. You're amazing." I gushed.
"You're welcome Cariño. Get naked." He smiled.
I did and hopped in the tub. I sank in the hot water, relaxing. He used bath salts and bubbles. It was so heavenly, I didn't wanna get out.
I dragged myself out, when the water cooled. I threw on my new pajamas after quickly slathering on lotion. I jumped into bed with Jake where he was waiting for me with take out. We ate sushi rolls in bed while watching Thursday night football. Full and nodding off, I set my alarm for an hour early before I laid down to went to sleep.
The next thing I knew, my alarm was waking us up.
"Lily...you gotta be at work early too?" He groaned at me.
"No. Same time. I just need to thank my boyfriend for taking care of me last night." I said, rubbing my hands up and down his chest.
I kissed down his chest to his penis. I used every trick I ever saw in porn videos to get him off. It worked. He grabbed my hair to hold me in place as he climaxed.
I crawled up on the bed next to him when he finished. I laid my head on his chest.
"You're amazing." He said, breathlessly.
"I gotta keep up with you." I smiled, resting in his arms. "Although I think I just surpassed you."
"You do?" Jake challenged.
When I nodded, he rolled over me. I laughed and we play fought. I tried to get him off of me. He pinned my arms down and began to kiss me. I kissed him back. His grip loosened on my arms, so I was able to break free. I just placed my fingers through his hair. He groaned against my lips as I massaged his scalp. I grinned as I discovered another turn on for him.
"Te extraño. Quiero más tiempo contigo. {I miss you. I want more time with you}" He said, smothering kisses on me.
"I'm right here Jake. Make love to me." I said between kisses.
He removed my clothes and as the sun came up, he gave me exactly what I wanted. And it was simply amazing.
****Hey everyone! Thank you for all the comments and compliments and feedback! As you can see, this post is later than normal. This is one of the few times I actually wrote a whole post from beginning to end the day before. Kinda scary. I didn't proof as much. And it's not as long. I should have been writing this post, but I was excited to get into Ethan's head!
I no longer have reserved posts. My writing day (sunday) is now football with the fam day . So I will only do bonuses and different point of views, if I have the whole weeks post done! Thank you for reading! And character guide was updated. Check it out!
Kinda sad not gonna lie, I really don't think jake is the one for lily and this post just tried to show him as nothing but a great boyfriend. Don't like how he never told her about his degree also don't like how she has to walk on egg shells the whole dinner in case he blows.
ReplyDeleteI agree I still don't like him. He's too controlling and hot headed without taking any responsibility it's always lily's fault...
DeleteI find him a bit.. misogynistic really. I have been in this relationship. At first, it seems so small and unimportant. You wear what he picks out for you because it's fun and makes you feel good to have him see you in them and feel beautiful. But, he knows Lily's relationship with the guys. She's friends with everyone. He's always questioning who she's talking to, how she talks. It's like she has to completely change who she is just to make him happy. That being said, I do see his point of crossing some lines with her flirting. But he shouldn't be questioning every single person, text, conversation, everything. He is controlling that way, and I find it a bit.. manipulative the way he does it. Yes, people need time and space when theyre angry, but he takes it too far, seems to punish her for her actions with not speaking to her and disappearing for a bit, making her beg and plead to be heard. That's not a relationship. That's emotionally abusive. I know this because I've been there. Yes, she should change a little bit in her dealings with Trevor and Ethan and such due to history and because Jake is uncomfortable. There are some lines that you do not cross in a relationship and she needs to think a bit more before she acts, but, she shouldn't be the only one changing. He needs to let her off her leash. She's a grown woman, not a child, and she isn't there for him to dictate to. That really bothers me. I spent three years with someone like that. At first, I didn't notice. I didn't heed anyone's advice that he wasn't good for me, or that he was controlling or manipulative. It took me three years to see it. And I will say because of that, it is hard to read these entries. You are a very good writer in that you connect with your readers. You make them feel. You make them think and react. I hope that she speaks to him soon. He's just.. it's his way or no way, and that's just bothersome. I want to reach through my screen and brain him with a shovel and whisk Lily away and say don't go there. It will only be a bad outcome.
ReplyDeleteYou just nailed it! However, in my own experiences (I'm much older than the characters), the men in my life who were most like Jake were from Latin cultures. Please don't think that makes Latino men controlling monsters. I don't believe that it does. But I do believe that gender roles are not the same in every culture.
DeleteI agree with the above comment. Jake (and Brandon) are both controlling IMO but this is the norm in their culture. My SO is mixed, so ive been around that ALOT. They have their sweet moments and they have this other side where they "dictate" what they want from their gf/wives/sisters etc..
DeleteThats just how they grew up and I can see the same thing from the guys in this blog (a case in point, the women in the kitchen making plates for the men). The women are enjoying it so what may be abusive for you may not be for other cultures.
I don't like jake either... Yes there's lines that you shouldn't cross but you also shouldn't be worried about how he's going to react to something someone says to you or to every conversation you have. If you're always worried that someone might say something that will upset him or that you will go "too far" then it's not a healthy relationship. Also if I was her I would ignore Blake and not reply to his messages... He likes her, that's the only reason a dude would ask his friend for a girl who he's only met once number
ReplyDeletethats the thing.. Lily is so used to being single she doesnt find anything wrong with her number with Blake. Jake knows how a guy's brain works which expkains his reaction to the whole Forrest giving Blake Lily's number. I dont call that trying to manipulate her and who she's friends with.
DeleteWhat makes us involved so much in the lives of these characters is that they both have flaws that make them real. They joke, say innappropriate things, get into fights, make up etc...
Great writing
Not saying they can't be real but there even are real relationships that are unhealthy and I think jake and lily are in one if not headed there
DeleteI think my biggest problem with Jake is that it's kind of feeding into the stereotype for Latino men. Originally I thought maybe it was just me being sensitive, but upon seeing the above comments I see that I'm not the only one seeing it this way. There are a lot of Latino men who are not controlling and "macho men" out there. :( i think it's important to note that his behavior stems from his insecurities and his past relationship rather than a cultural stereotype.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said...can something happen so he just get over his insecurities so that he can be the sweet guy that he seems to be sometimes? Lol
Jake acts the way he does because of his own insecurities. That's why I did the back story to provide some insight. Jake is very much based off the popular male characters right now that controls and manipulates younger naive women while calming to love them. I was very curious to how readers would respond to a charcter like that if he wasn't super rich, powerful, white, or vampire :-) I'm learning alot.
ReplyDeleteI love all the debates and feedback. And I do think that cultures do impact gender roles. And I love discussing stereotypes. But that was not my intentions with creating Jake. I would much rather think about how much a women should sacrifice for a man. And can love really change a person?
Bear with me everyone. I hope this comment didn't give too much away. I just didn't want Jake ethnicity to give a reason or an excuse for his actions. It's all him.
That is actually a really cool experiment. I've been pretty bothered by the romanticization of classical abuse red flag or actual abusive behavior in pop culture recently. Twilight had it, apparently that's all that 50 Shades has (didn't read it).... The idea that people might find it sexy when a white or dead white man does it, but a cultural abnormality when someone else does is probably spot on.
DeleteAlso, to weigh in on something: I come from a culture where men are a bit more macho and forceful. Therefor, us women match it :) Everyone has their own cultural background, but it really shouldn't create such an element of control in someone's friends or their comfort with their family (always inviting himself to her brother's, trash talking Sammy to the point she won't tell her stuff). If her relationship with Jake is creating distance in her other relationships, that is a major danger sign.
Anonymous, you're right, balance does happen. I think what I was referring to with the cultural behavior was him having the jealous streaks and wanting to dress her. The things that might seem controlling rather than abusive (creating distance, not talking to her, etc.). Abusive isn't ok in any culture.
DeleteI usually write big long comments and wager into the Jake debate but this time I just gotta say one thing.. I LOVE that Lily is such a Niners fan. I'm from Texas and a life long Niners fan haha q:
ReplyDeleteI really don't see Jake as the controller some people think he is. I do think he has some issues...but I think that is just insecurities from past relationships. Combine that with Lily's inexperience... and you have a surge of emotions from both :) Lily seems to want to work with Jake...he wants her...but until he opens up about his past...I think eventually he will push her away...
ReplyDeleteI really don't see Jake as the controller some people think he is. I do think he has some issues...but I think that is just insecurities from past relationships. Combine that with Lily's inexperience... and you have a surge of emotions from both :) Lily seems to want to work with Jake...he wants her...but until he opens up about his past...I think eventually he will push her away...
ReplyDelete