Exclusive (No Excuses)

"Exclusive (No Excuses)"- Day26

The conversation at lunch/dinner was normal. We hadn't talked in 2 weeks, so Trevor and I caught up. The only difference was, I was super aware of every little thing Trevor did.

Cam and Trevor were telling a funny story about a coworker, but Trevor made sure to watch my reactions. His smile widened when I laughed. His blue eyes brightened. And I couldn't help wondering what he was thinking.

Cam asked me how Jake was doing. I told Cam he was ok and that thanks to him, Jake and I were taking it slow and dating. I swear I saw Trevor stiffen. It made me fidget uncomfortably.

I changed the subject. I told Trevor I was sorry to hear about him and Becca.

He looked me in the eyes and shrugged. He told me he didn't want to lead her on because he didn't see a future with her. I looked away from him.

Jenna and Cam took over the conversation from there. I ate and engaged in conversation, but avoided looking at Trevor. The few times our eyes met, I looked away.

After we ate, Jenna and Cam started to clear the table. They refused Trevor's and my offers of help, so I took this as an opportunity to finally talk to him.

We went out on their small patio to talk.

"I just wanna start by saying I'm sorry Lily. I know I've been a jerk for a really long time now and you didn't deserve that." Trevor started.

"Neither did Sammy." I added. When he hung his head, I continued.

"The past is in the past. You both made stupid decisions, but why would you sleep with her again, when you knew how she felt about you?"

Trevor just shook his head. "Alcohol and stupidity is a dangerous combination."

"Well, you're way too smart to act so stupid." I said, throwing that line back at him.

He gave me a half smile. "Thanks. No one accused me of being too smart before."

I smirked and shook my head.

"But in all seriousness, I never meant for Sammy to be in the middle of us. I never meant for there to be an us at all." Trevor confessed.

I nodded. "I understand. Rocky told me how you felt. I honestly didn't know."

"Is there... a chance for us?" Trevor asked.

"Trevor, I'm with Jake-"

"I know. I've been trying to let my feelings go. I stayed with Becca, thinking that if I had feelings for her, then the ones I have for you would go away. That failed, miserably." Trevor said. "I just need to hear you say it Lily."

I thought it over, hard. I knew what I said next would forever impact our friendship.

"When I went back to California, I missed you so much. I felt like I was missing a part of me. When I came back, I promised myself I would never let anything come between us and I'm keeping that promise. No one will. Not Sammy. Not Jake. And not even you." I said.

He looked hopeful until I added him to the list. Now he looked confused.

"Trevor, we were closest when I let go of my feelings for you. You have to do the same because I need you in my life. I love you, but like a brother. It will never be more than that." I finished.

Trevor nodded, but didn't speak.

"Trevor? What are you thinking."

"About the Wedding Singer." Trevor replied.

Now it was my turn to look confused.

"Remember at the end? When the old guy said women rip your heart out through your ass? It kinda feels like that, but less funny." He said, with a little smile.

I hugged him tightly.

"Everything is going to be alright." I said, quoting the old guy from the movie.

Trevor smiled.

"Just one thing though." Trevor said, holding me to him. "How did you not know I had feelings for you?"

"After 4 years of over analyzing everything you said or did to see if you might like me back, I just stop noticing all the little things." I explained. "And it's not like you told me."

"You never told me...but I knew." Trevor commented.

The patio door slid open. It was Jenna.

"Y'all ok out here?" She asked.

"Yes." I said, stepping away from Trevor

"Yeah, let's go inside. It's hotter than balls out here." Trevor joked.

I smiled and we headed inside.

I spent the rest of my Sunday hanging with them. We watched the VMAs before I headed home.

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"So is Corey still willing to go on a blind date?" I asked Jordan, as we ate lunch together. We both had salads from Starbucks.

Jordan shook her head. "What's going on between you and Jake?"

"Nothing! We're great. I meant for my roommate Sammy." I replied.

I knew it was a stretch, but Sammy needed to meet a nice normal guy and if he was like Jordan described, he might be perfect for her to dive back into the dating pool. And I meant dating, not hooking up with scumbags. Yes, Jake included, but he's my scumbag now.

"He's not going to let me set him up again. It went so well with you."

"We don't have to set them up. They could just meet while we're out together. Soonish." I explained.

Jordan smiled. "Ok. We can do that. Let me see when he is available."

After work, I went home to an empty apartment and started to cook dinner. I was boiling water to make fried rice and checking my Facebook. I thumbed through all my friends posting pictures of their kids going back to school

 Megan tagged Ethan in a picture of EJ standing outside his classroom in his school uniform. He had a backpack on his back. He was wearing a bored expression on his face. I smiled and texted Ethan.

Me- EJ looked thrilled to be back at school on Megan's Facebook picture.

Ethan- Give me 30 minutes. I'll post a better one.

True to his word, as I fried some eggs to add to the rice, Ethan posted more pictures. He tagged me in the caption.

Better? @Lily. Btw, he was upset he missed the back to school blow out. We need to plan to get all the kids together again.

I scrolled through the pictures. EJ's pictures were much better at home. He was grinning and making silly faces through the course of him getting ready for school.

Ethan also posted pictures of our day at the splash park and McDonald's. There was an adorable picture of the Krista, April and Robbie sitting underneath the plastic blue wave. It was too cute!

I commented on the picture.

Me- Awww, much better. And it's a three day weekend coming up. Let's make it happen!

I finished cooking and put my phone away. I was sitting down, eating, when Sammy came home. She was loaded down with shopping bags.

"Ooo retail therapy?" I said, grinning at her.

She smiled. "More like I got my first check from Honey B's."

"Even better. We should go out and celebrate soon." I said, thinking of Corey.

"Umm, it would have to be Thursday. I have gigs everyday this weekend."

"Really?" I said surprised.

"Really! I told you I just needed a few events. They love me. I'll make my rent money through tips alone!" Sammy predicted.

Afterwards, she modeled all her clothes and shoes. I wanted to point out she had her rent money in her purchases, but I bit my tongue. Everyone grieved differently. Besides, operation nice guy was about to be in full effect.

"So, remember that guy Jordan was trying to set me up with?" I asked when she put her clothes away and sat down to eat with me. When she nodded, I continued.

"I think you should talk to him." I suggested.

Sammy cocked an eyebrow at me. "Don't you think we've shared enough guys?"

I laughed. "Corey and I didn't even meet in person. Besides, even if we did, you have my blessing."

"I don't know. I kinda met someone this weekend. Waiting on a callback." Sammy debated.

"Well have a drink with us while you wait." I said, getting up to put my plate away.

"Let me see his picture again!" Sammy called to me.

I retrieved my phone. I saw I had a new text from Jake. I smiled and read it.

Jake- I didn't know you and Ethan went to the splash park together.

Me- Yep. He helped me out with the kids. Will didn't trust me on my own. I told you he was an ass  ;-)

Jake- I would have helped you.

Me- I know babe. But I didn't even ask for help. I just invited him, thinking he had EJ. But he switched weekends with Megan.

"Do you have that picture up?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah." I said, closing out my messages. I pulled up Corey's instagram and I showed Sammy.

"He's nice and chill. I think a change of pace will be good for you." I explained.

"What the hell. Set it up!" Sammy agreed, flipping through pictures. My phone beeped, indicating a text.

"Next time, let me know. I don't wanna find out you're hanging with other dudes on Facebook. And I wanna talk to you before you make Labor Day plans." Sammy read. She gave me a look. "You're hanging out with other guys?"

"No." I sighed. "I hung out with Ethan, and Amber's kids."

"Sounds real intimate." Sammy scoffed, handing me my phone.

"Exactly!" I shook my head, trying to figure out how to respond.

"How's that control thing going?" Sammy asked.

I glared at her.

She laughed. "Don't get mad at me. I told you what to do. You caved."

Whatever. I texted Jake back.

Me- Yes Daddy. I hung out with Trevor and my brother yesterday. A bunch of dudes at my job today and I'm plotting a threesome with Ben and Jerry. Maybe a orgy if Sammy wants to join.

Jake- That doesn't qualify as an orgy. That's two couples swinging.

Me- You would know what qualifies as a orgy, Scumbag. We're gonna watch the VMA's and add Usher to the mix.

Jake- Let me guess. He wrote Good Kisser about you?

Me- Actually we wrote it together about each other ;-)

Jake- Is this a California thing? Your obsession and fake relationships with singers? Are all California girls like you?

Me- First of all, Fake??? And second of all, I'm completely original.

Jake- I see that Cariño

I smiled.

"Y'all good?" Sammy asked.

"Yep. Wanna share some half baked and watch the VMAs?"

"Hell yes." She said, pulling the ice cream from the freezer.

I texted Jordan before we got settled.

Me- Thursday. Drinks. Let's make it happen!

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The next day, Jake texted me the address to a location in Addison. We were going to meet there for a date. I grinned when I saw it was Bowlmor, a bowling alley. Jake was taking the whole list thing too seriously.

I wore cute navy blue tiered lace shorts and a sleeveless blouse that buttoned and tied up in the front. I left 3 buttons undone at the top. I wore sneakers and my hair down over my shoulder.

When I arrived before Jake, I went ahead and got us a lane and my bowling shoes. I paid for Jake's, even though I had no idea what size shoe he wore.

I sat down, changed shoes, and was picking out my ball when Jake showed up. He surprised me by not even announcing himself. He just wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"I was three seconds from pulling out my Sai on you." I joked, cuddling in his embrace.

"Oh yeah? Took you to one ninja turtles movie and now you think you're a ninja. You can't have a Sai. You are no Donatello."

"I've always been a ninja. Mortal Kombat remember? And Donatello had a bo staff. Raphael had the sais."

Jake laughed in my hair. "I knew it. You were more into the movie than I was. You're such a nerd."

I turned around to let him have it about calling me a nerd again, but he kissed my protests off my lips.

"Go get your shoes. We'll see who the nerd is after I kick your ass in bowling." I demanded.

Jake laughed again. "That makes you a bigger nerd though."

I mockingly huffed and pushed him away. After he got his shoes (size 13) and picked out his ball, we set up to play. I ordered food and beer while he set up our names on the screen. He put my name followed by 'da nerd' and his name followed by 'da winner'. He laughed when I threatened to kill him.

Our first 5 frames were abysmal. I giggled when he complained about the lanes being too dry so he couldn't get a good spin.

I laughed at him.

"But I'm the nerd?" I said, while munching on mozzarella stick.

"Yes." Jake replied, grinning.

"Would a nerd do this?" I asked, dancing to Katy Perry "This is How We Do" that played on the big monitors above the lanes. I danced as I retrieved my ball and walked to our lane. I rolled it down, posing at the end. It went straight into the gutter.

Jake burst out laughing.

"No Cariño. That wasn't nerdy. Only a crazy person would do that." He laughed as I sat down next to him.

"Shut. Up." I replied, laughing too, as I kissed his dimple.

He held my face close and gave me a thorough kiss on the lips.

We finished up and we decided no one won because we were both so awful. I went to the bathroom before we decided if we were going to play again or shoot some pool.

When I came back, Jake was on his phone.

"Check your Facebook." He said, softly.

I sighed. Fuck Facebook. Fuck my life right now. We were having such a great time. I thought we were over his Facebook disapproval of me hanging out with other guys. I know I just joked it away. But I thought he got my use of sarcasm to point out the fact that I didn't need to reason or explain who I hung out with. He is not my dad.

"Jake. I don't know if this is just about Ethan or being controlling or whatever, but I'm going to do what I want. And hang out with whoever I want. I mean, technically, you're not even my boyfriend and even if you were, you can't dictate to me who I hang out with." I said, frustrated.

"Are you going to check it or not?" Jake said, simply.

I pulled out my phone and checked it. Jake tagged me in a picture. It was a note that said" will you be my girlfriend? yes or no" He captioned it:

We did everything on your list. Ready to make it official?

My face broke out in a smile. I felt like an idiot for going on a tirade, but I'm the happiest idiot in the world. I jumped into his lap.

"Yes! Yes! A million times yes!"

He smiled as I smothered kisses all over his face.